sequel to our dance..

Okay okay ..So I am a complete doofus. Let me explain so here we are doing this little dance we do and I am in complete control of all emotions, then today I let you get to me. You fill my senses like a primal male mate. I don't want you too have control I need to stay focused so I am fighting. I try fighting the urges that come with your words. I am curious to know so much but resist the verbal combativeness. Our dance continues only you have slowed me down and are waltzing me across the floor with your dominance.

I am afraid to let you in, I beg you not to hurt me as before but I am so unsure of the road we are going down and left speechless by your new found approach. I vow to take a step back at this point and regain my wits. Nothing is going to deflect me from doing that. My walls are up and its going to take more than a few antics to bring them down I need proof. So can you keep up this dance if I am leading? I know this time I will not allow you to break me old friend.  So my plan to ignore you for a little bit to gain back my barrings is in full swing. So lets dance...

Dream a Dream

I have been struggling a lot lately to make changes with in myself but to also recognize I am human and will have set backs. Unfortunately those set backs hit hard this week and made me see who really had my back when I needed them too, it just wasn't a lot of who I thought should. So last night 8/10/12 I had the most intimate realistic dream in my life. It was not sex ( for all of you worried I will be pervy) lol Okay so here it is

I dream-pt of this man his face and body structure so real, I recognized him but I didn't know him, He had a little boy younger than my son but not by much and his son had blonde hair. We met and it was instant kismet, The connection so strong it was if I lived it before. This man never revealed his name but he took my hand and I knew at that exact moment He was mine, I mean my husband, the love I had for him was overbearingly strong, and my son called his son brother, and I remember playing with the kids while he sat and watched and like in a lovers movie I got up letting the kids continue to play in our yard as I sat next him on the step below him he embraced my hands and the attraction well lets just say I have never experienced that before either so I kissed him and it was earth shattering. He told me he loved me that he would find me, I looked at him and woke up...

Waking up I didn't feel good felt sick ..almost to the point of throwing up as if I lost someone. I forced my self to sleep again only to relive the same man , all day I have thought about this dream and wonder if perhaps I have hidden feelings? Or maybe I just dream-pt of someone I have not met yet? I do know I was very affected by the dream, eager to find who this person is. I went as far as researching dream meanings but none of what they said made any sense to me.. The feelings I had were like nothing else I ever felt before how do you shake that? I obviously can't be in a dream state all the time, but I want for this dream again.
I want to dream this dream once more.