Searching

Going in for a little soul searching, perhaps providing some answers to some well needed questions. I give myself permission to be confused and conflicted I am not GOD I do not have all the insight. What I do know is that I am strong, and I am becoming aware of my emotions little by little. Learning what each are and how I truly react in situations; for so very long I had emotions but never in control of them, they came and I struggled to understand. Now I learn that with each emotion there is a reason so I am searching my self to find those reasons. I never looked at myself and said How do I "REALLY" feel about this , I just kind of always acted by instinct never really taking it in.  Learning that and doing it is much more difficult then I thought.

I thought going into making a better me would be quick and easy, who goes into life thinking they don't know themselves..Turns out ME..*giggles* I am not sure who I am, and I feel a little silly not knowing that at 31 years old but I guess always growing is why we are put on this earth. I am just now figuring out who I am aside from a mom. I am a great mother I know this. I will toot toot that horn; but the "woman" behind that I am not so sure..I am discovering new likes and dislikes. I am seeing the kind of happiness I am in search for, who I am with faults and all. Therapy is working very well. I just love my therapist she is very helpful to me. I feel like I am making great progress and strides. This miracle of a new me will not happen over night.. So I am taking time to smell the roses, reading much more, and really thinking about things. 

I keep this as almost a personal journal to me just because to write anything down in my house would not be kept for privacy. Writing on my blog my own personal feelings, sometimes writing based on how someone else feels, just gives me a little sense that I have something just for me.  

Since noone in my house other than me reads it.